10 THINGS I DISCOVERED: WEEK 13

I took a couple of weeks off from my southern education to go hang out in LA and Hawaii. But I’m back at it, and the air is just as humid and the bugs are just as real. So here’s what’s new now that I have 3 months under my belt:

  1. Whiskey is from Tennessee, bourbon is from Kentucky. Period. Just like actual champagne can only be from the Champagne region of France, and anything else is just sparkling wine. This was all explained to me the other night by a horrified waiter with a vague look of disgust. Something about mash and rye and WHAT AM I EVEN TALKING ABOUT. 4c9f5e8603334cf1ce787919578d993c
  2. Hush puppies are fried pieces of bread. See above for what the waiter’s face looked like when I asked what this was.
  3. There is a CPK IN NASHVILLE! There are also many, many, many excellent restaurants nominated for James Beard awards – but let me tell you – seeing California Pizza Kitchen brought me to tears.
  4. We have about 13 deer that live somewhere in the woods behind our house. Also, we have woods.
  5. Darius Rucker – you know, Hootie, from Hootie and the Blowfish – is apparently a really legit country star now. 
  6. My new friend (they are all “new” friends) Kristen, has a working theory that 1/3 of Nashville is left-handed. Way above the national average. We are in the process of getting to the bottom of it, so I’m sure you will remain on the edge of your seat until we have this mystery solved.
  7. I have more vegetarian friends in Nashville than I do in Los Angeles. I mean, can you even believe that? I can’t. I feel like I’m lying as I type this, but I know I’m not.
  8. In the Nashville Metro area… Red doesn’t necessarily mean stop, and green doesn’t necessarily mean go.. Those are just suggestions, really. If you want to live to see the next day, it’s advised to wait a beat when the light changes.
  9. The state bird is the Crane because NASHVILLE SKYLINE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION at all times. Get it? Tip your waitresses on the way out. 
  10. I have one friend who thinks I live in Texas and one who thinks I live in Kentucky. Nashville is in Tennessee just in case I didn’t do a good job of explaining that in prior posts. I know it’s confusing, because Connie Britton is in Friday Night Lights which is in Texas, AND she’s in the show Nashville… which is in Nashville.. so I can see how it would be hard to keep straight. And I used to be one of those people on the right or left coast that thought everything in the middle was just a 6 hour plane ride of like, grass. But low and behold, there are real live cities ALL OVER! And even this dude from London was able to get the state of Tennessee right (sorry people in…North Middle?). 

10 THINGS I DISCOVERED: WEEK 8

1. Not all storms are tornados. Not all sirens are tornado sirens. And if I don’t get that into my head I will continue to look like a crazy person every time it’s windy and there’s an ambulance in the distance.

2. Jack Daniels is made in a DRY county in Tennessee. You can literally go visit the plant and do nothing but sniff the whiskey. No tastes, no sips, no drinking. Someone needs to explain they are making less money this way.

3. Hayden Panettiere is my favorite country artist. Her character, Juliette Barnes, has catchy songs and Nashville is a catchy show. WHAT OF IT! I’m not ashamed.

4. Speaking of the show Nashville, Rayna James’ house in Belle Meade is for sale, and is 20 million dollars. So basically I never left LA.

5. The Band Perry is actually the real full name of the band. Not a band thats called “Perry” like I thought for the last 2 months.

6. There is EVEN live music at Whole Foods. Like no one here even bothers with an iPod because they can surely get a full band to play at any given time.

7. Trader Joe has a less successful, and less well known brother named Aldi. Okay their names are not Joe or Aldi, but they ARE brothers and they had some stupid feud over like, whether to stock cereal bars and went their separate ways. So one started Trader Joes, and one started Aldi. POOR ALDI, am I right? They carry almost identical products and Aldi is actually cheaper since they basically make you do everything yourself and don’t believe in customer service or bags, or even free grocery carts. There are lessons to be learned here, I’m sure of it.

8. In related news, the black widow has a creepy cousin named the brown recluse. It basically just lurks in your shoes and furniture waiting to ruin your life.

9. Why is my manicure more expensive here than in LA? This is an actual question – not just a discovery. Why.

10. Dolly Parton lives just up the road from me and I drive by her house (compound?) on the way to the park. So let me say this for emphasis, DOLLY PARTON IS MY NEIGHBOR, Y’ALL!

10 THINGS I DISCOVERED: WEEK 5

1. The weather here changes in a hot minute. At 6pm, you’re headed to the pool and at 7pm, it is straight up the Wizard of Oz outside.

2. On that note, thunderstorms. They are not like the LOL thunderstorms we have in Los Angeles… they are like earth shattering, ear splitting, sky on fire thunderstorms. But oddly, they are kind of amazing? When people from other states used to say they missed a “good thunderstorm” I’d look at them like they were insane. Who likes thunderstorms, anyway.. serial killers? But now I kinnnnnd of understand the appeal (as long as you are indoors and with ample wine).

3. This week in awkward contractions: Oughtn’t. I can’t pronounce it or use it in a sentence.

4. For the last 18 years, the Arbor Foundation has named Nashville “Tree City USA.” We have a lot of trees!

5. Whomever is in charge of writing the highway signs here has found his or her calling. They come up with such zingers as, “Get your head out of your apps and watch the road.” And, “You’re in Tennessee, slow down and enjoy the view.” And my personal favorite, “Buckle up, y’all! It’s the law!”

6. There are SO MANY AMAZING BARNS off of every road. It’s actually stressful to think of the amount of photo shoots I need to have in front of every single one. Traditional red or weathered wood? So many options!

7. Moonshine got its name because it was produced illegally at night to avoid discovery. Also, apparently moonshine is whiskey.

8. There are no salads at BBQ restaurants. Unless you count coleslaw.

9. People who live in Nashville will not generally admit to watching the show Nashville. (I call bullshit on this)

10. Nashville celebrated Pride and the SCOTUS ruling with huge double rainbows. I know we are technically in the bible belt so I really wasn’t sure what the reaction was going to be… But the streets and shops and signs were filled with love and enthusiasm. What a beautiful thing.