If you want the brutal truth: Have a conversation with a 4 year old. Last night I mindlessly commented on the pleasant weather and said, “It’s nights like this where I almost think I could live here.” To which Stella replied, “But we DO live here…” Yes, Stella. We do. And I’m glad to know only one of us is having a hard time living in reality.
My entire life, I have had a love-hate relationship with Los Angeles. By the age of 17 I was over it and moved to New York City. I swore I would NEVER move back. But as they say… There’s just no point in saying never. So naturally, I moved back nearly 7 years later. Cut to 2015 when John brought up the possibility of Nashville, and all of a sudden I resurrected that itch to leave. I was done with the culture, the keeping up with the kardashians, the fact we couldn’t use public schools, the work-life balance – you name it, I was over it.
Now cut to today. My heart literally ACHES for Los Angeles. It’s like an ex-boyfriend I can’t get over. I only remember the good and discard the bad. I’m so homesick that I actually sit outside at night crying about evening walks, local coffee shops, night blooming jasmine – and can’t even bring myself to discuss our friends and family. That part is just too painful and needs to be placed in a box until a quieter time. For now, It’s all the pain I can handle to remember the smell of the air and the dry summer nights.
One of the reasons I started this blog was to force myself to explore Nashville in hopes of falling in love. And trust me, there is SO much to love about Nashville. But it’s also forced me to recognize how much I love LA and that it will always be my home. I guess that reality is bittersweet since I’m no longer living there, but it’s better to realize you love than to not love at all, right? I’ve also realized I have to stop comparing the two cities because there’s room to love them both. Nashville will never be where I grew up, that ship has sailed.. But it IS where my kids are growing up, and I feel really lucky they get to call this place home.