10 NEW THINGS: FEBRUARY

First of all, I know it’s been a whillllllllle since I posted, but I’ve been really busy being SICK AS F*CK since New Year’s Day. So happy 20 effing 16.

  1. I guess if you live outside of Los Angeles you get sick all the time. And stay sick. Because it’s an actual winter and when they came up with the term “cold” they were not being ironic.
  2. Remember when it would drop to like 48 degrees in LA in the DEAD of winter atΒ 3am and we just could not believe how devastatingly cold it was? HAHAHAHAHA. It’s 19 degrees right now.Β IMG_8632
  3. 4 wheel drive is actually a real thing that you need. Who knew?
  4. I like country music. Didn’t see this coming.Β IMG_9444
  5. I used to hate award season because John would be gone ALL day on show days. Now he has to fly to LA and he’s gone for days at a time and I’m like remind me again why we moved across the county?
  6. We now have a proper bagel establishment, appropriately titled Proper Bagel. I love EVERYTHING about this place and the most die-hard New Yorker would too. The lox is flown in from Brooklyn and they filter the water the same way, and they force you to wait in line and order specifically according to the menu just like a true New York establishment. True love.
  7. Gwyneth Paltrow came to town and I – along with everyone in Nashville – rushed to the Antique and Garden show to see her speak. And all of a sudden I was like, CLEA GET A GRIP YOU ARE FROM LA. I need to shake it off.Β IMG_9539
  8. When we first thought about moving to Nashville, we thought we’d live in the suburb of Brentwood because the schools are best in the state, the taxes are low, and the houses are huge. After 8 months we’ve already sold our house, for a smaller house, right in town, where taxes are twice as much, the schools are 5 times as shitty, and the crime is twice as high. Ah… home sweet home. #privateschoolforever
  9. John eats shit tacos from every gross stand in town and he got food poisoning from the green juice at Whole Foods. Not sure this is a southern thing – but still so funny to me.
  10. When it snows, schools close. When they think it’s going to snow, schools close. When it snowed 3 effing days ago but it’s mildly cold and maybe some shaded over spots have remnants of snow, schools close.

10 THINGS I DISCOVERED: NOVEMBER

  1. It’s impossible to get good Sushi here. Someone actually recommended I try Peter’s Sushi. UM there is no chance anyone named PETER is making good sushi.
  2. Chattanooga is not in Nashville. In fact, I hear it’s pretty far away.
  3. The CMA awards happen like 15 times a year, I’m positive. Anytime I ask John what he’s shooting, I’m pretty sure he says the CMA awards.
  4. All kids are supposed to address adults using Ms or Mr – so like Ms Clea and Mr John. Do my kids really have to do this? I think they have to say ma’am and sir as well. I cannot underscore how unlikely this is..
  5. There is such a thing as a “construction fire.” It’s when construction workers build a LARGE fire at 5am when they start working because it’s freezing out and inadvertantly terrify Californians who think the neighborhood is on fire and calls 911.Β Β 
  6. There is a place called London, Kentucky and some people will tell you they just got back from London AS THOUGH THERE IS NO OTHER SUPER FAMOUS CITY NAMED LONDON.
  7. November is apparently when ladybugs invade Nashville. I don’t mean that you might see a few – I mean they are everrrrrrywhere. Like two on your arm at any given time, in the car, on the walls. Oh and they are Japanese ladybugs which bite. The bug situation here is NOT okay. Even our ladybugs bite?! We can’t even catch a ladybug break?
  8. Restaurants are closed on the most random and irritating days. Who closes on a Tuesday? What is even the point of that? And why do they think I’ll be able to store that information in my head when I show up expecting to eat dinner?
  9. Related: My favorite restaurant – which is closed on Tuesdays – will not let you order food “to go” to take home to anyone. You have to order the meal, let it come to the table, and then request a box and slide the food into it……… Maybe get over yourself.
  10. Fall is so pretty. Just be careful not to accidentally tag an Instagram picture of pretty Tennessee hills with the incorrect area or face the wrath of the internet. I got about 1000 comments in shouty caps.Β Β