I’ve always struggled with the kind of mom I want to be, versus the kind of mom I have time to be, versus the kind of mom I end up being. These past two weeks I’ve been home with my kids for the first time in 4 years. And when I say home with my kids, I still mean with the appropriate mix of help and school.. But I’m still the one doing pick-up and drop-off, laundry, meals, packing lunches, brushing teeth and all the 1 million mom duties that I never really had to do before. Because I worked full time.

And now I don’t. I’m home.

So why can’t I just rise to the occasion and Mary Poppins the shit out of this?? In some ways I’m rising to the occasion. I mean, my kids are (relatively) clean and they have (mostly) eaten for the day. But I’m not doing crafts and baby aerobics and having pretend tea parties with the figurine cast from Frozen. And every day it makes me feel like a shitty mom. I don’t know how to “play” with my kids. When Stella asks me to “make the dolls talk” I literally break into a cold sweat and divert her attention to something safe, like a puzzle. I can do puzzles! I can read books, or color, or play board games (but not when they cheat.. I’m sorry, no… play it right or play alone) – but even when we are doing these things, I feel like I’ve surely killed 3 hours when it’s really only been 17 minutes. Which I know for certain because I texted my friend 17 minutes ago and liked 3 pics on Instagram. And I’m right back to being a shitty mom.

A couple of Mother’s Days ago, my mom gave me a card that said “There’s no point in trying to be a perfect mom when there are a million ways to be a great one.” I’ve held that sentiment close over the years, but sometimes I feel like that’s an unrealistic measurable too. In fact, most days I feel like I’m just making it through the day until it’s wine o’clock. On the other hand, my mom also gave me a sign that says “You’re not really drinking alone if your kids are home.” So maybe I should just stop beating myself up and pour a glass. Cheers.

Published by

Clea Shearer

Los Angeles native living in Nashville. Mother to Stella Blue and Sutton Gray and wife to the best photographer in the US of A. Currently learning to live life with a southern accent.

6 thoughts on “SHITTY MOM.”

  1. Yep. That’s me. Every day. And I feel the same way every day. And I wonder, “am I the only one of my friends who does this? And feels this way?” So thank you for letting me know that I am not. Why is it so difficult to just…be?


  2. Loving the honesty! As a single, working momma, I a;ways count it as a win if my kid is alive when I get her from daycare. We never do pintrest activities and yesterday I think she wore dirty shorts to daycare. Sounds like your kiddos love you, so you must be doing it right!


  3. I know how that feels, I only have one child and I am a stay at home mom. He is always asking me to play with him and I always try to divert him to something else. I’ve been hard on myself thinking I’m a shitty parent, but then I stop and think, heck my kid is healthy, he’s fed and clean and is always happen and having fun. So what if I’m not the perfect parent society wants, and so what if we don’t do crafts a lot and other items. I’ve always been different from friends, I know people who are like the “perfect” parent and I think, what fun is that? lol


  4. Oh girl, I might be the president of the shitty moms club. Honestly if I hadn’t gotten knocked up again, I’d totally be an alcoholic by now. Also, obsessed with your house.


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